Ego is the association of the self with the body. We think of ourselves as the body but not as the immortal soul. We identify ourselves with our beliefs and opinion. When our opinions and beliefs are accepted, our ego puffs up and we feel great. Ego thrives on acceptance, flattery and compliments. Ego need to be patted and recognized at all times, while it cannot accept criticism or sustain when slandered.
The modern world encourages ego but does not encourage self esteem. The gigantic industries churn out goods and products in great quantities. Worldwide advertisement and publicity are given in order to sell the goods and products to make good profits. These advertisements are aimed at fulfilling certain needs and promise us that when we use the products, we become different, special and exclusive. Our need to be different is pampered by the promises of the advertisements. Every single item of goods that we use in our daily lives – be it food, clothes, household articles, electronics or other items – are all sold by hooking our ego and making us feel special. We are bombarded by such messages from our birth till our death, twenty-four by seven every day of the year.
It is difficult for us to stop feeling offended when our ways and thoughts are not acknowledged. We cannot accept rejection. Our ego cringes and screams when someone does not feel the same as us. We create conflict within ourselves and this will ultimately break us down. Too much of ego and inability to accept the ups and downs of life and balance ourselves are the causes of stress and depression.
There is intense competition in the world today. The competition starts right from birth of the child till it grows old and eventually dies. It is competition at school, for the projects, exams, higher competitive exams, sports, for getting the right girl or boy as life partner, for wearing the right clothes, having the latest car, living in the right neighbourhood, having a better pay packet, going on exotic holidays, wearing the latest designer outfits etc. The list is endless. No one works at their pace. The pace of work, progress and results are enforced by competition and if we do not toe the line we lose heavily. Competition is for winning. But the flip side is losing. When we lose, our ego takes a beating and we are shattered. We push ourselves to any limits in order to achieve and be the best in order to maintain our ego and image in society.
The ego is never satisfied nor content. It always wants more. It rarely sees what is given and the blessings that are poured on us by Divinity. It focuses only on that which we do not have or do not possess. We may be the best in the school but we yearn to be the best in the university, then in the state, after that in the country and finally in the world. The need for some more is endless. It is a rare person who does not fall in this trap of ego.
We are praised and criticized in turns in life. It is possible to learn to accept criticism and rectify ourselves and be balanced. We can learn to overcome criticism and sharp words and be peaceful. But it is very difficult to be balanced when we are praised. Adulation boosts the ego and we imagine that we are worthy of all the praises showered on us. We lose our balance and sense of discrimination.
The greatest distance between man and his Maker is the size of his ego. Ego is the greatest hurdle that we face in reaching God. The scriptures and our holy texts are full of examples of great saints and devotees who have fallen prey to ego. When we are praised or given a well deserved compliment, it is better to offer it to God and Guru and not get carried away by the tide of self defeating pleasure. We must learn not to let flattery swell our ego. The best way of overcoming ego is offering all that happens to us in life – the good, the bad and the ugly unto God and accept Him as the reason and cause of all happenings in our lives.
A Guru always takes particular care to ensure that his disciple does not fall prey to the disease of ego. Where there is intense bhakti, grace manifests and washes away the ego. Let us intensify our bhakti to God and Guru through the SitaRam japa and meditation and safeguard ourselves.
