She gave up her all for devotion
The twists and turns of life cannot be predicted. The road of life goes smoothly and suddenly we are jerked and jolted and sometimes even break a bone or two. Generally, we all feel that we are very good and must be rewarded for it. We have our own plans and blue prints for the expected reward. Yet when Divinity rewards, it may or may not match our blue print. Most devotees fail to accept this point. Their ego is not able to understand or take in the shocks of life. They are so self centred that they are unable to see the more vast and more grand plan of God for their soul. They only see that their particular desires are unfulfilled and indulge in blaming and slandering God. They stop their bhakti and worship.
In response to her prayers , grace descended on Punithavathiyar when the mango manifest in her hands, not once but twice. Her husband was convinced of her genuine bhakti. He also felt that she was a divine being and he could not live with her anymore as his wife. So he decided to leave her and go away. He quietly went away to another city. He earned well there and got married to a merchant’s daughter and lived in comfort and luxury. When a daughter was born to him, he named her after his first wife Punithavathiyar as he considered his first wife to be a divine being and his guru. In the meantime, his friends and relatives came to know of his new life in another city and they decided to compel him to receive his first wife as she was pure and had done no wrong to her husband.
When all reached the residence of the husband in the new city, he went to receive her with his second wife and daughter. He fell at her feet with the greatest reverence and said: I am your servant and you are my Guru and Family Goddess. All that I have today is due to your grace and blessings. Poor Punithavathiyar was utterly confounded by this salutation and worship. She asked her husband why he behaved in this manner. He explained that he saw her work a miracle and that she was a divine being. So he worshipped her and named his daughter after her.
Punithavathiyar heard these words and pondered over it. She prayed to Lord Shiva, her Supreme God saying: I took care of this body and beauty for sake of my husband. Now take away the burden of this flesh and give me the form and features of those who attend on You and praise and worship You. I seek nothing in life but You. Immediately, her beautiful and graceful form transformed. Her flesh dried up and she became an old woman and as thin as a skeleton. She had turned into one of the ganas or spirits who surround Lord Shiva. The Gods sent a rain of flowers on her and blessed her. All her relatives offered her their respects and departed in awe and respect. She was named Karaikal Ammaiyar in respect of the village she came from.
Now freed from all worldly obligations and attractions and desires of the flesh, she was entirely focussed on her love for Lord Shiva. Having assumed the form of a gaunt old woman, she lived in the wild jungle of Alankadu. She wrote many sacred poems which were heard and appreciated by the Lord Himself and they are sung even today. There are very few devotees like her. She willingly gave up her beauty, youth and grace and took on an ugly and undesirable form so that her attraction for the world would drop completely and she would be immersed fully in the bhakti of Lord Shiva. This is a lesson for us in the modern world, where so much attention is paid to external form and beauty. The Lord only sees our inner beauty and light – our bhakti and longing for Him and blesses us.
(continued in the third blog)
