As we progress in life, we are put in situations where we have to give advice to others. It is not an easy task. In order to give advice, we have to be knowledgeable and experienced. We should understand the plight of the other person and be able to see the situation from his point of view. We should also be able to communicate our suggestions in a manner acceptable to him. When we give advice, we expect the other person to accept it and act on it. We are highly offended when the person does not listen to us. Have we not put in our time, effort and experience to help?
We can never predict how our advice will be taken. There are times when the other person reacts in a negative way. He verbally abuses us and calls us names. Sometimes, we face physical danger when the person hits out physically. Sometimes, our words can cause us to face extreme danger – of threat to our lives. The Bible has rightly warned us about casting pearls before swine and have them turn upon us and render us asunder.
There is a illuminating story in the life of Buddha which teaches us about the qualities needed to be a good adviser and master:
Buddha had many disciples who became fully enlightened. They were sent out by Buddha to help and serve the masses. Once, an enlightened disciple was getting ready to travel to spread the word of Buddha to the masses. He chose to go to a distant village in Bihar where the word of Buddha had not reached. When he went to seek the blessings of Buddha before departure, Buddha asked him where he was going. When he mentioned the name of the village, Buddha warned him that it was not a good place. The people in that village were stupid, wild and uncultured. They had a reputation for being violent and murderous.
The disciple replied: If they are in such a bad condition, they need our help more than anybody else. Only the sick people need the doctor.
Buddha said: Yes, you are right. Before you leave and before I bless you to go, I will ask you three questions. First: When you are with them helping and advising them and they insult you, what will be your response?
The disciple replied: I will be grateful that they are only insulting me with words. Words are only words and will not break my bones.
Buddha said: Second question: If they beat you and break your bones, what will be your response?
The disciple said: I will be thankful that they only beat me and break my bones and not kill me. It would be so easy for them to kill me.
Then Buddha asked the last question: If they kill you and you are dying, in your last moments, what will be your thoughts?
The disciple answered: I would still be grateful. I have already attained enlightenment and I do not need life anymore. Maybe if I live for more years, I could commit some crime or sin or fall from my height of bliss and awareness. By their killing me, I am saved from this great disaster.
Buddha said: I bless you and you can go anywhere and teach. You are not only enlightened but also capable of being a master.
All enlightened persons are not masters. A master has the capacity to communicate and keep patience and balance even while teaching those who are totally ignorant and unable to see the truth that stands right in front of them. All persons who have experience and knowledge are not capable of giving advice for it takes a lot more than words and concern to convince a person to help himself. It is best that we work on our own self improvement and transformation. This is possible by doing the SitaRam Mantra, meditation and following the teachings of the Guru. Let our lives be the advice we wish to offer others.
